I feel a lot like I’m drowning recently, but the title is a song lyric and has little to do with this post except that the following will be song lyrics that my kids butcher on a daily basis. They are quite hilarious.
“Pumped Up Kicks” by Foster the People
My kids sing: All you kids with the pop-tart kicks, you better run, better run faster than my mommy!
Actual lyrics: All the other kids with the pumped-up kicks better run, better run, faster than my bullet.
“Colours” by Grouplove
Kids: I am a man, man, man, man stuck up in the air, and I run around ’round ’round this down down and I don’t have no hair.
Actual lyrics: I am a man, man, man, man up, up in the air and I run around ’round ’round ’round this town, town and act like I don’t care.
“Wheel in the Sky” by Journey
Kids: Oh the wheel in the sky is a’burning, I don’t know why it’s tomorrow.
Actual Lyrics: Oh, the wheel in the sky keeps on turning, I don’t know where I’ll be tomorrow.
“Telephone” by Lady Gaga
Kids: Stop calling, stop calling, I don’t wanna drink anymore, I left my head and my arm on the dance floor. Stop tele-funkin’ me.
Actual Lyrics: Stop calling, stop calling, I don’t wanna think anymore. I left my head and my heart on the dance floor. Stop telephoning me.
“Another One Bites the Dust” by Queen
Kids: How d’ya think I’m gonna get a log without you on my own? You took me for everything I said and kicked me outta my phone. Are ya happy? Are ya saggy fried?
Actual: How d’ya think I’m gonna get a long without you when you’re gone? You took me for everything that I had and kicked me out on my own. Are ya happy? Are ya satisfied?
“Give up the Funk” by The Glee Cast
Kids: We won’t do funk. Give us the funk. We peed on funk. Gotta have that punk. We gonna tear this mother, OW! We gonna tear this mother, OW! You gotta real type of crane, going down, getting down, there’s a whole lot of ribbon going ’round.
Actual Lyric: We want the funk, gotta have the funk, we need the funk, gotta have that funk. We gonna turn this mother out. We gonna turn this mother out. You gotta real type of thing, going down, getting down, there’s a whole lotta rhythm going ’round.
Sometimes I giggle, sometimes I have to make sure I’m singing it right.
*Note: Lady Gaga one may not be safe for work, just fyi.*