Ok, seriously, though? I would love to find friends that coupon, scrapbook, sew, knit and crochet like I do. I would also lurve to have a friend who got joy and happiness from cleaning other people’s houses, but I don’t see one of those on the horizon.
Today, though, I realized that I probably cannot be friends with a fellow couponer. Because I would call them mean names and tell them that they act like a jackwagon when they shop. Seriously.
Today, I was at the Other Grocery Store in town. (Note: NOT Albertson’s.) I took in my
huge ass coupon binder because I am a moron to get some meh deals.
I noticed another couponer asking the dairy guy about yogurt and smiled at her. She looked at my shopping cart, at my binder, then back at me, and her eyes narrowed.
In her mind, it was on.
Now, I understand Binder Envy. It’s sort of what I would imagine Penis Envy would be like. You look at someone else’s binder that is bigger and nicer than yours and you get a little peeved off.
Been there, done that, got the motherflippin’ t-shirt.
So, as soon as I get closer to her, she begins whispering her request for more yogurt product to the dairy guy. I get the drift that she either A) doesn’t want me to hear her (as if I don’t know what’s on sale also) and B) possibly doesn’t think there will be enough to go around.
Did I mention we were in a grocery store? It isn’t like we’re out in the wilderness about to go all Thunderdome on each others asses because there was only one cup of On Sale Yogurt. I mean, for the love of cheese, you can have it honey.
I bought my yogurt yesterday.
The whole rest of the shopping trip was awkwardly seeing her and trying to be nice while she would LITERALLY jump in front of my buggy to grab ninetybillion containers of 99 cent dishwashing detergent (I’m still stockpiled up on that shiznit, anyway, snitch. Plus that was the crappy brand, but whatevs) because GOD FORBID I actually grab a container of dishwashing detergent.
I would grab something and she would grab 10 of the same thing.
Just to screw with her, I would look at a random coupon, nod, look at my list and then grab something random from the shelf. She would get to the item and frantically search for a coupon.
I don’t know if she just wanted to make sure she was getting good deals, or what, but dude.
So, I came to the conclusion that some couponers shouldn’t coupon, or even be out in public for that matter, and also? All us couponers?
May Actually Be crazy.
I’ve got to find a new hobby.