I’m in love with the “new town” — as the kids so fondly call it. I mean, in LURVE. I love it so much I would marry it, ya know, if I wasn’t already married. And if it were legal to marry a town.
Which I’m kind of glad it isn’t.
But, since I’m fairly exhausted (moving is hard, y’all) and I’m ready to go to bed, here are some random things that have been said since we’ve moved to the “new town”:
Thing 1: Mommy, is there a potty in this house?
Me: No, you have to use the outside.
Thing 1: Oh. Okay.
Thing 2: I don’t know ’bout that.
[SN: Rest assured, dear readers, there is a potty in this house]
Thing 1: We can stay in this town, Daddy. I saw the Wal-Mart today, so we’re okay.
Me: I love Albertson’s so much that I want to have it’s babies.
Husband: You just want to have babies with pretty much anything, don’t you?
Me: If you gave me bread, milk and a basketful of groceries for $30 — I’d have your babies too.
Husband: ….[blank stare]…..
Me: Oh, wait, scratch that.
Me: I don’t want to take a class where they tell me stupid things.
College Adviser: We don’t have classes like that here, dear, this is a college. We teach smart things here.
Me: Oh, that’s not what I meant. I meant things that….nevermind.
College Adviser: I’m not sure where you were going with that … so let’s move on…shall we?
[SN: Have I ever told y’all how incredibly stupid I am when I get little sleep? No. Shining example right there.]
Husband: (on phone, to me) Where are you?
Me: (driving on interstate, towards him) On the thing. With the … gray…. yellow stripes?
Me: Thing 1, where are your socks?
Thing 1: I don’t want to wear socks.
Me: That’s not what I asked.
Thing 1: I gave up socks. [shrugging shoulders]
Me: I’m not sure what you mean.
Thing 1: Socks are bad, like the debbil, so I stopped talking to them.
Me: Thing 2, which room do you want?
Things 2: Which one does [Thing 1] want?
Me: I don’t know, he’s not here yet.
Thing 2: Can we call him?
Me: No. Why?
[later….when Thing 1 & The Husband get home……]
Thing 1: I want this room [pointing at room].
Thing 2: You can’t have it, that’s MY room, [pointing at other room] that’s also my room.
Thing 1: I have to have a room!
Thing 2: Mommy told me I could have yours cuz you weren’t here yet.
Me: [beating head on wall]
The Husband: Hey baby, tomorrow I might have to go out on a job.
Me: Ok. When will you be back?
The Husband: I dunno.
Me: Did you ask about your benefits package?
The Husband: No. I forgot.
Me: Did you ask about a schedule?
The Husband: No. I forgot.
Me: Did you ask any important questions?
The Husband: I asked what my pay was, that’s important, right?
Me: [beating head against wall]
Yes, we’re crazy, but we’re also crazy.